switch
Citizen of Fetish Lore
Posts: 917
|
 |
« on: November 28, 2007, 03:10:17 PM » |
|
I'm sorry the above scale doesn't cover everything.
We've had a couple threads concerning accidental outings and/or adverse reactions from friends and relatives. I thought it might be interesting to discuss how out we are and why. I know the members on this site cover the gamut.
The answer is easy for me: not very. Two vanilla girl friends know how kinky I am. Otherwise the only people who know are those who've played with me (and anyone they've told of course).
I don't think I would be horribly embarrassed to be exposed generally. But I have a very straight-laced family who would be appalled and I don't want to hurt or disappoint them unnecessarily. I would also worry about my furture work and career. Additionally there is Pete to consider. He would be mortified.
I like discussing BDSM on line. That's why I'm here. But I don't generally like to discuss it with others. My sexual life is private.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Is Sex dirty? Only if it's done right." Woody Allen
|
|
|
|
roo-roo
|
|
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2007, 03:31:21 PM » |
|
I'm involved with the local community. Outside of that, I tend to not talk about it. I do have a sticker on my car though, so anyone who knows what bdsm is knows what I'm into. Sometimes if people ask what bdsm is (which is rare) I just say it's a band I like or a club I go to. Now that I'm getting closer to finishing up with school and looking toward a career, I may remove the sticker, just in case. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
MistressAmor
Resident
Posts: 57
|
|
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2007, 03:32:44 PM » |
|
Very much the same for me. My family doesn't know. My friends, well, I haven't told them but the closest ones I think they know - when chatting about sex, I don't hide what I think so possibly although I haven't told them exactly what I am up to they can imagine. Other people who know: the people at the London Fetish Fair or the Alternative Market, people that poppet and I meet at events clubs... so basically people in the 'scene'. This may change in future but at the moment it suits me fine.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Mistress Amor
|
|
|
|
Mule
|
|
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2007, 08:23:07 PM » |
|
Since I'm not actively looking for a partner, I'm mostly an "innie." I take things slow and if an appropriate opportunity comes up, I'll meet with someone.
So far, I've had a 100% success rate at meeting good people.
My first outing was with a fellow sub (Farnorth) who read one of my stories and wanted to know if we could collaborate on another story. 21 chapters later ...
This story was, in turn, read by Ms. Amity, and we started exchanging emails and collaborated on yet another story. 107 chapters later ...
To date, I've outted to 9 people including Mrs. Mule of course.
There are a number of people in this forum I would feel comfortable outing to.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Cogito ergo cum - I kink, therefore I am
|
|
|
After(the)Fall
Citizen of Fetish Lore
Posts: 391
|
|
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2007, 08:28:17 PM » |
|
Now that I'm getting closer to finishing up with school and looking toward a career, I may remove the sticker, just in case. Might be smart.  There are 6. (real life) MK, 3 others we've played with, and another couple that we are close friends with who are also somewhat kinky. Thats it. I guess there are a few others who have their suspicions, but they will remain just that....I won't be coming out to anyone else in the near future. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
I bring no witty charade.
|
|
|
|
quietlisten
|
|
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2007, 08:37:16 PM » |
|
Okay, so I can't get my act together for the life of me and I'm 41. Roo-roo totally has his head screwed on straight and he's not out of school yet. I can't decide if that makes me feel more motivated or annoyed.
But just to prove that I don't derail EVERY thread: I have to be very intimate with someone to share. My work requires a painful level of conservatism; I have Brooks Brothers suits and I'm not afraid to use them. Lately, though, I've had a "hell with it" feeling nagging at me. If I knew it would make me happy -- I'm in no way sure that it necessarily would; see Eileen's recent post -- I'd probably be a LOT more open about it. There are big trade-offs there and once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it ain't going back in.
Quietlisten
Closet dweller
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
MissBonnie
|
|
« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2007, 02:01:08 AM » |
|
I'm proudly out and use my real name and pics online. I don't scream 'Hey I'm into Femdom, what's you kink' but I don't hide it either. If asked I tell. My friends, family and colleagues all know, my kids Don't (too young to understand)..even my kids headmaster knows.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
" Collar'N'Cuffs.com" A free Femdom community site..Resources,stories,Ecards, forum, chatroom, Gallery & personal profiles. |
|
|
|
Myles
|
|
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2007, 01:21:53 PM » |
|
I don't make a big issue of it, but I don't hide it either. It's just part of who I am. People who know me are aware that I'm kinked, but I do the whole don't ask/don't tell thing... if they want to know details I'm happy to share, if they don't bring it up, it's a non-issue.
*wanders off thinking of ways to convince quietlisten that he wants more than anything to let me peel Brooks Brothers suits off him with my teeth*
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings. –William Blake
|
|
|
|
quietlisten
|
|
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2007, 06:14:34 PM » |
|
*gulp* *shiver*
Looks through the ties... red, yellow...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Mule
|
|
« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2007, 08:55:28 PM » |
|
Heck, at my age, people would think I was bragging. :lol:
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Cogito ergo cum - I kink, therefore I am
|
|
|
|
RichardEvansLee
|
|
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2007, 02:26:21 PM » |
|
I only talk about it with one nonkinky friend. Others know by osmosis.
And if you want into my house the chains and cuffs hanging from the dining room doorway and the whips and things on the living room mantle are a pretty good hint.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
roo-roo
|
|
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2007, 05:35:19 PM » |
|
Others know by osmosis. :lol: That brings to mind a very strange mental image... |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
lavender scorpion
Citizen of Fetish Lore
Posts: 444
|
|
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2007, 06:09:43 PM » |
|
I have Brooks Brothers suits and I'm not afraid to use them.
Glad to see Myles, I'm not the only one turned on!
Ok.. can we derail this thread and talk wet spots at the office? :twisted:
quietlisten, keep talking! |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. - Mae West
|
|
|
make me write bad checks
Citizen of Fetish Lore
Posts: 139
|
|
« Reply #13 on: November 30, 2007, 06:11:26 PM » |
|
Only the wonderful hubby knows. For one thing, it's all about the sex for us, not any kind of 24/7 D/s. I don't see why specific sex acts should be discussed with other people. I honestly don't want to know which of my friends have never given a blow job & which ones love taking it up the ass. And they don't want to know about me either. I know guys are different, but I still don't think they gossip about much besides the afore-mentioned 2 activities.
In the second place - since I'm a female masochist, I don't want that broadcast. I like to think I'm strong & independent, and that's the image I want to project. (Even though those of us here know how much more strength it takes to take a whipping than to give one.) There's way too much abuse of women in this world and I don't want my erotic life confused with that. Along with that, I think most people don't know anything about BDSM and they'd assume hitting is hitting. Or all hitting is sexy and desired by everyone. Also, it's treated rather comically on TV (watch CSI recently?) and I'm definitely not opening myself up to that kind of humiliation.
In the third place - a secret is only a secret when it's known by 1 person. Logically, my secret has to be known by 2. Should anyone else find out, I have no control over how that spreads and morphs. I am extremely fortunate to have 1 person in this world whom I can trust my life to. He's all I need.
Richard, I guess you don't have younger company visiting much, huh? :lol:
mmwbc imagining her 3 yr old nephew singing "I crack the whi-ip!" (Dora the Explorer?)
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Raymond
Resident
Posts: 66
|
|
« Reply #14 on: December 07, 2007, 11:22:48 AM » |
|
If I were anymore out, I'd have to hang a flashing neon BDSM emblem on the front of my house. I just don't bother hiding it, though most of my friends are vanilla. The worst response I ever got was this one girl who said, "Oh, you mean there are people who actually do that?"
"You're talking to one of them, Princess."
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
