What stopped you? or is stopping you

[sebastian]

Well, it's a challenge, because Alex is a pretty strong-willed guy.  He's one of those classic submissives who has a high-powered job and is used to getting what he wants, but  who is desperate to submit to someone.  He often seems to be testing me by resisting my efforts to control when we're going to play.  I haven't yet figured out when he's reasonably being too busy to meet and when he's being resistant. 

[painslut667]

In my case, my wife is just really not into it.  She's said that she can't bring herself to do the physical punishment part of it.   I *know* it doesn't have to involve pain, but there's little regular sex going on at the moment either so trying a different tack (e.g. humiliation) isn't really an option either, though I may try it when things pick up a bit.

I've even considered finding a discrete side partner, but there are a few things holding me back:

* It's cheating and I'm the monogamous sort
* I'm scared to death of catching something (STD) and bringing it home, which goes in hand with item 1.

So....for me, it's just stuck in fantasy mode.

[Mule]

painslut667,


I'm sort of in the same boat. Mrs. Mule isn't a domme. But at least she listens. She has her moments though, and I'll take what I can get.

Like you, a side partner isn't an option. The relationship I have with Mrs. Mule is way to valuable to put at risk. Besides, nobody else will put up with me anyway :-).

[Thorney]

Well, I tend to proceed slowly and gently, for the same reasons- long and extremely happy marriage to Mrs. Thorney, and at age 86 she probably is more easily damaged in some ways than when younger. But we have a huge repertoire of things I like built up, and there are always new things to try.  In recent months her vagina has been on the tender side so conventional intercourse hasn't worked (there was a nasty skin disease there, lichen sclerosis, for awhile) so of late she has (at the gynecologists suggestion) masturbating with increasingly large candles to try to regain tissue flexibility there. Fun to watch, and having me lick or tweak her nipples while she's working her clit can help get her off and in a nice mood to try new things with me.  So we've been able to get around obstacles pretty well, by being very willing to experiment and try new things.