Fetish Lore

[Myles]

I very much enjoy face slapping and know it can be a hot-button subject. I don't consider it to be something that is humiliating, although I know that many do. As I'm a self-confessed control freak, as well as a sadist, it very much has overtones of both those things for me. It was at one point very firmly in my list of "things I'd never do" and yet after much discussion with my slave, consented to try it since it was a particular fetish of his. I was immediately hooked, I think more because his very visible, rapid, and abrupt drop into subspace than anything else. I've done quite a lot since that first slap, everything from a heavy backhand to lightly tapping a pair of gloves against his cheek, and enjoyed it all.

What are your feelings about it?

Do you consider it humiliating? Erotic? Dangerous? Part of power play?

Is it something you have done / would do?
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No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings. –William Blake

[RichardEvansLee]

[Ranai]

I enjoy face slapping and it is occasionally part of our SM interaction. I never hit the cheek hard. Lots of fragile things to damage in the head.

It can be a calculated dramatic activity, if I lift my hand high first and see his eyes following its approach... The thing that does it for me on the D/s level is that he could protect himself, and the instinct yells at him to protect himself, but submitting to me, he doesn't raise his hand. It feels great.

Initially when I brought this activity up, my partner said he did not want it. So face slapping was in the limit sphere for a while. I just left it be. Then later on, he told me that he felt ready to try it. So next time I felt like it, I tried - and it was great for us both.

To those who like to do face slapping too: Watch out please if there's any recent health trouble with any of the organs in the head. (When in doubt, rearrange plans to hit some sturdier part of the body. )

A ritualised form of face slapping:
I sit. He kneels before me. I order him to keep his hands behind his back. I look into his eyes, raise my hand and slap his cheek. Then I present that same hand before him. He bends down and kisses the back of my hand. He straightens up again. I slowly raise my hand and slap him again. I present my hand. He kisses my hand again. I do it with the other hand. And so forth. Doing this a few times in silence can be a powerful thing.

In a fun mood:
If I have brought my partner to the edge of an orgasm, a deep look into his eyes and a slap or two on his cheek can be the final action that sends him over the edge. That's a great experience for me too.

[roo-roo]

For me, it's more about power. As Ranai mentioned, the option (and often the desire) to block the slap is present, but instead, we choose to receive the slap.

It turns me on to see her smile before and after she slaps me, although this isn't as powerful with casual play partners, most likely because the power exchange isn't as strong. I find it erotic knowing that she's getting something from making me suffer in this way.

[Sensual Sadist]

[Myles]

Thanks everyone. It's always interesting to me to see how others feel about things.

I probably should have been a psychologist!
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No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings. –William Blake

[maymay]

Faceslapping is tricky for me because I never really know how I'm going to react to it. I like feeling defiant, feeling submissive, and even feeling abused, but when I'm not feeling like feeling like that (...??) then being made to can throw me through a loop.

That said, I agree, it's fun and erotic and the power exchange aspect is almost never more evident. One of the first scenes my current girlfriend and I did was a heavy face slapping scene where she pushed me against a wall and slapped me so hard I lost balance several times because she nearly threw me off my feet. It was one of the first truly submissive experiences I think I ever had.
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-maymay
Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed (my blog)

[susan]

Being a Fauxdomme, I still getting comfortable slapping the other set of cheeks:)

I don’t know if I’ve ever slapped a guy in the face. I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of, considering portions of my misspent youth:)

[Ranai]

For my partner and me, face slapping works well as a symbolic activity. It is more a power demonstration than an activity to give pain. I sometimes even do it in slow motion. Trying it out on myself, it was easy to figure out how I was comfortable slapping the face: more symbolic than anything else.

Here’s an article describing the risks we incur and how we can protect our loved one from damage:
http://www.ecstagony.com/eng/info/artsaf/safeslap.htm

To give strong physical pain, other parts of the body are available.

[RichardEvansLee]

Thanks for posting the link. Safety is very important as always.

This two year old entry of mine has lots of visitor comments:

http://www.downonmyknees.com/archives/pain/face_slapping.php

"Captain Scarlet" writes of being slapped so harshly after eye surgery that his implanted lens slipped out of place.
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Female Led Relationships - Femdom Romance - Femdom Dating

[Emotional Masochist]

This is one place where I have some experience. This may not be something to brag about, but i have spent most my life being slapped. I have a big mouth and when presented with a moment to say something stupid I usually take it. This led to me receiving alot of slapping. In fact I remember one slap that was so hard the pain travelled from one side of my face(where i was hit) to the other. It was weird. After a while I didn't know which side was hit.....Sry kind of drifted of into fond memories. I truly love recieving a slap to the face. My ex was very fond of slapping me and my mouth presented her with many reasons to lift that sweet hand.It truly is an amazing experience. To look into her eyes and know its coming. TO see the sudden flare of anger and then the raising of the hand....The few seconds in which time freezes and the pain explodes in your cheek.

[maymay]

[Sensual Sadist]

I've probably done more affectionate/playful slapping to pet than angry slapping. Though then there are times when I get angry just for the hell of it.

Oh, what the hell. It's so confusing sometimes.

[Dolce]

There are nuances at being angry. Especially when we're talking BDSM. My partner gets (let's call it) "pissed off" at me some days, when he can see I really want to go into sub-mode but can't quite make myself to, or can't relax enough to, or when I can't communicate to him what I really want. So he might go into one of what he calls "full dom moods" and sort of force me into subspace just by the intensity of his actions and reactions. Slapping my face is almost always done in an "angry" context like that for us, or as punishment to my pulling on the leash once too often. I like testing his limits like that sometimes, mainly because that slap will land on my face sooner or later when I do. *purrs contentedly*

So is he angry when he does it? Yes and no. He is usually not just faking anger, but it definitely isn't the sort of anger your average wife abuser would feel. Possibly because BDSM helps us channel it in a safe and controlled way? I /know/ how contolled the force of his slaps is, because I sometimes secretely wish they weren't. And -seriously now- that's good so, making the head spin by a slap is NOT safe.

But most of the time he is probably just frustrated at not having the most obediant submissive around. And if it makes him feel better to slap me then, I will definitely not try to stop him. Nope. Not me. More please?
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[Emotional Masochist]