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RichardEvansLee
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Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 1186
Location: Durham NC USA
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 Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:03 am Post subject: "Mistress" |
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When I discovered female domination the use of "Mistress" startled me. To me the word mostly meant "kept woman." Secondarily some humorous character - Mistress Fishwife - from an old play.
Not that I wasn't aware of it being used as a term of respect for a woman, albeit one I'd never actually heard uttered.
Often I wondered where it started. Perhaps it was this passage from the first English translation of Venus in Furs:
| Leopold von Sacher-Masoch wrote: | Suddenly she knocked at my window with the handle of her whip.
I opened and saw her standing outside in her ermine-lined jacket and
in a high round Cossack cap of ermine of the kind which the great
Catherine favored.
“Are you ready, Gregor?” she asked darkly.
“Not yet, mistress,” I replied.
“I like that word,” she said then, “you are always to call me
mistress, do you understand? We leave here to-morrow morning at nine
o’clock. As far as the district capital you will be my companion and
friend, but from the moment that we enter the railway-coach you are
my slave, my servant. Now close the window, and open the door.”
After I had done as she had demanded, and after she had entered, she
asked, contracting her brows ironically, “well, how do you like me.”
“Wanda, you–”
“Who gave you permission?” She gave me a blow with the whip.
“You are very beautiful, mistress.” |
This reminds me of the earlier thread on honorifics and titles.
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Last edited by RichardEvansLee on Mon Jul 02, 2007 10:26 am; edited 1 time in total |
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femelle
Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 308
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| Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 10:08 am Post subject: |
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Oooh neat! I wouldn't let my ex call me Mistress for a long time. I wanted to feel like one first.
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After(the)Fall
Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 393
Location: Norwich, CT
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| Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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We've moved to the mistress honorific as well, after quite a while. AMybe i shoudl start referring to her as MK instead of LK, as its been several months now that she decided she wanted me to call her mistress instead of lady.
And Richard, question for you. is venus in furs an old book? when was it written, and where can i find it?
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RichardEvansLee
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Location: Durham NC USA
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After(the)Fall
Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 393
Location: Norwich, CT
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| Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 5:58 pm Post subject: |
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thanks for all the sweet links
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M_N_B
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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| I too had a problem with the word "Mistress" in the beginning but as it is always spoken with such loving respect I have to admit that I wouldn't want it any other way now. It doesn't feel negative like it did in the beginning. |
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ScarlettLeopard
Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 221
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| Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 11:49 pm Post subject: |
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With my long distance submissives I did come to enjoy being called Mistress although still not from strangers. If my husband calls me Mistress we both break into giggles that can kind of spoil the mood. Ma'am is natural for him though and I like it. Well you know unless its in that certain tone of voice 
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"I'll be Pavlov, you be the dog" -William Stafford |
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After(the)Fall
Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 393
Location: Norwich, CT
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| Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:21 am Post subject: |
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Ah, richard....wheres the rest of Venus in Furs? Am i mistaken or was there only one chapter on your blog?
Its a fascinating book though. To have those pirinciples espoused at such an early time in history is incredible. That the idea of power exchange existed in a textual form in the 1800s(i know its been around longer than that) is amazing.
Was he ever censored? Baudelaire's "Flowers of Evil" was publicly burned...did Sacher-Masoch endure the same sort of public outrage?
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RichardEvansLee
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Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 1186
Location: Durham NC USA
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| Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:44 am Post subject: Venus in Furs |
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| After(the)Fall wrote: | | Ah, richard....wheres the rest of Venus in Furs? Am i mistaken or was there only one chapter on your blog? |
There's a "next" link at the bottom of each chapter.
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Tormentress
Joined: 02 Jul 2007
Posts: 25
Location: UK
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| Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 8:58 am Post subject: |
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Yes I have had a strange time thinking of myself as his Mistress, but it was very early on in our games that he referred to me as Tormentress, ours at the present time is still an online submission and so much of our play is with me causing him torment, either physical requests or mental torment so my name has become very symbolic for us 
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After(the)Fall
Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 393
Location: Norwich, CT
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| Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 10:08 am Post subject: Re: Venus in Furs |
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| Richard wrote: | | After(the)Fall wrote: | | Ah, richard....wheres the rest of Venus in Furs? Am i mistaken or was there only one chapter on your blog? |
There's a "next" link at the bottom of each chapter. |
ah...thank you.
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almost
Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Posts: 70
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| Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 4:25 pm Post subject: |
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I have ambiguous feelings about being called Mistress. Mostly it just seems so trite that it's ridiculous. Not to mention the connotation of "kept woman" that you mentioned.
Last edited by almost on Sat Jul 28, 2007 11:45 am; edited 1 time in total |
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JustMiss
Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 6:48 pm Post subject: |
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I always had a hard time with 'Mistress'. In the beginning a few of the women I was watching to figure out what this FemDom stuff was all about were hardly my idea of a good role model, but all I had, and they all demanded to be called Mistress. (All online stuff, which can explain so much!)
I watched a few go through boy after boy, just like toys, no affection for any of them and while it seemed like it could be fun, it wasn't the way I wanted it to be for me.
Basically, I just had a bad idea of what a Mistress really was.
Eventually I just went off on my own and started reading forums and came upon Alexandra's blog first, and then Mistress160's blog second and finally felt like I had something real to be looking at!
It was probably four months after I'd made some sort of committment to my boy (which at the time was only online and pretty much just meant I wasn't actively seeking any other submissives) that he asked if he couldn't pretty, pretty please call me 'Mistress' because he thought it fit so well. And though I didn't like it the first time, it grew on me, and now I love when he calls me that. |
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solipsist
Joined: 04 Mar 2007
Posts: 77
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 5:47 am Post subject: |
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Mistress160 says to say she has a big smile listening to me read out your post 
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lavender scorpion
Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 444
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 12:47 pm Post subject: |
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| almost wrote: | | I have ambiguous feeling about being called Mistress. Mostly it just seems so trite that it's ridiculous. Not to mention the connotation of "kept woman" that you mentioned. |
My thoughts exactly.
For me it conjures bad Femdom porn images (I know some of you say there is no such thing). I would have a very hard time maintaining top space if a submissive addressed me as 'Mistress', especially if accompanied with the 'as you wish'. I'm pretty sure I'd bust out laughing and have to call "cut"
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